Anyhow, have a Winfield*
Paul Hogan's done some wicked, wicked things in his time.
Like leading thousands of Australians to an early grave by flogging durries.
Like hiding overseas, rather than settle a shitfight with the Australian Tax Office, who were trying to ping him for $150 million.
And of course, the Paul Hogan show. Not to mention the abominable Crocodile Dundee III.
Leaving aside those atrocities, I'm prepared to cut Hoges a bit of slack, because if it wasn't for him, Kakadu would probably be a giant uranium mine.
You see, when he made the original Crocodile Dundee, access to Kakadu wasn't much more than a dirt road leading to the mine. Nobody went there. Hoges changed all that.
If you haven't seen Crocodile Dundee, you should. It's far from perfect (for example, the pub, thanks to a bit of production trickery isn't in Kakadu at all, it's thousands of kilometres away in Queensland).
But the scenery and indigenous heritage is the real deal.
Hoges didn't get a lot of government help. The NT government didn't see any future in tourism, and liked Kakadu just the way it was. Back in 1978 when they carved the mine site out of the national park, they probably had a slogan like 'Jobs and Growth'. They were blinded by the prospect of uranium royalties, and who'd want to see a bunch of waterfalls and abo paintings anyway?
Now, the Ranger uranium mine's now about buggered, despite decades of government support and subsidies.
We tried to drive there, to chat to some of the workers about how they were caring for what was once part of the Kakadu National Park.
They weren't particularly friendly.
Actually, the blokes with high-vis vests and Toyota utilities (with a little orange light on top) were quite hostile. Words were spoken. It's fair to say none of them are much into preserving what's left of our natural heritage.
So we retreated to Jabiru, where the local bakery sells crocodile pies.
Anyway, back to Paul Hogan, who scratched together less than $10 million to make Crocodile Dundee. It became the second biggest movie of the year, raking in more than $300 million.
It also put Kakadu on the map. It's now Australia's biggest national park, and one of Australia's biggest tourist drawcards.
I'm not going to say much about Kakadu. That wouldn't be fair - I spent far too little time there to even scratch the surface.
I'll say this: it's number one on my list of places to return to. Next time, I'll hang around for a month or so.
The downside? Okay, there are no facilities in the park (if you're accustomed to lounging around the pool in the Whitsundays, that is). You'll need to be self sufficient. It's fearfully hot. The insects will try and kill you. If you get lost and wind up near the uranium mine, the workers will try and kill you.
It's somewhere everybody should aspire to visit, and not just for a couple of days.
Tasmania's remote South West aside, it's the most inspiring place I've yet visited. Yet it would take weeks, months even to really discover its secrets.
So barely three weeks into our search for the Ultimate Holiday Destination, Kakadu is now fixed at number #1 in my top ten.
You should visit. Do this soon. Bugger the cost. Do it before another government decides mining is more important than World Heritage.
Like leading thousands of Australians to an early grave by flogging durries.
Like hiding overseas, rather than settle a shitfight with the Australian Tax Office, who were trying to ping him for $150 million.
And of course, the Paul Hogan show. Not to mention the abominable Crocodile Dundee III.
Leaving aside those atrocities, I'm prepared to cut Hoges a bit of slack, because if it wasn't for him, Kakadu would probably be a giant uranium mine.
You see, when he made the original Crocodile Dundee, access to Kakadu wasn't much more than a dirt road leading to the mine. Nobody went there. Hoges changed all that.
If you haven't seen Crocodile Dundee, you should. It's far from perfect (for example, the pub, thanks to a bit of production trickery isn't in Kakadu at all, it's thousands of kilometres away in Queensland).
But the scenery and indigenous heritage is the real deal.
Hoges didn't get a lot of government help. The NT government didn't see any future in tourism, and liked Kakadu just the way it was. Back in 1978 when they carved the mine site out of the national park, they probably had a slogan like 'Jobs and Growth'. They were blinded by the prospect of uranium royalties, and who'd want to see a bunch of waterfalls and abo paintings anyway?
Now, the Ranger uranium mine's now about buggered, despite decades of government support and subsidies.
We tried to drive there, to chat to some of the workers about how they were caring for what was once part of the Kakadu National Park.
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| More sustainable mining, surrounded by World Heritage |
They weren't particularly friendly.
Actually, the blokes with high-vis vests and Toyota utilities (with a little orange light on top) were quite hostile. Words were spoken. It's fair to say none of them are much into preserving what's left of our natural heritage.
So we retreated to Jabiru, where the local bakery sells crocodile pies.
Anyway, back to Paul Hogan, who scratched together less than $10 million to make Crocodile Dundee. It became the second biggest movie of the year, raking in more than $300 million.
It also put Kakadu on the map. It's now Australia's biggest national park, and one of Australia's biggest tourist drawcards.
I'm not going to say much about Kakadu. That wouldn't be fair - I spent far too little time there to even scratch the surface.
I'll say this: it's number one on my list of places to return to. Next time, I'll hang around for a month or so.
The downside? Okay, there are no facilities in the park (if you're accustomed to lounging around the pool in the Whitsundays, that is). You'll need to be self sufficient. It's fearfully hot. The insects will try and kill you. If you get lost and wind up near the uranium mine, the workers will try and kill you.
It's somewhere everybody should aspire to visit, and not just for a couple of days.
Tasmania's remote South West aside, it's the most inspiring place I've yet visited. Yet it would take weeks, months even to really discover its secrets.
So barely three weeks into our search for the Ultimate Holiday Destination, Kakadu is now fixed at number #1 in my top ten.
You should visit. Do this soon. Bugger the cost. Do it before another government decides mining is more important than World Heritage.
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